How To Influence People Subtlety
AKA Anomaly's guide on how to get what you want without seeming like a dick without them knowing you are playing into psychology just to be a dick and get your way. There are various psychological reasons why these things work, I will not go into much detail as to why and cite you studies or papers because I don't like writing essays, but I will give you the general reason why they work.
There are many more examples, but I will give you the five I use the most.
1.) Avoid the word "but" at all times when critiquing somebody. Use words such as "instead", "alternatively", or "however".
Bad Example: "I like your design, but it needs more color."
Good Example: "I like your design, however I would change [this] about it."
Why This Works: When you use the word "but", it's IMMEDIATELY registered by the listener that something negative is to follow. Not using the word "but" will help steer them away from taking your constructive criticism the wrong way.
2.) Kind sentences with small excuses can get you places. Not "My dog ate my homework" style excuses, just small certain situation excuses.
Bad Example: "Can I cut in front of you? I only have two things and I'm in a hurry."
Good Example: "Would you mind if I cut in front of you? I only have two things and my pregnant wife is in the car and is rushing me."
Why This Works: Statistically, you're more likely to get someone to do what you want them to do if you give a small yet urgent sounding excuse as to why you want them to do it. If you give them no reason, or a generalized reason, they are less likely to help you as opposed to using a small urgent excuse. Also, Bioshock is right. People respond better if you start sentences with "Would you mind?" or Andrew Ryan's "Would you kindly?".
3.) Wear professional looking attire, preferably something custom tailored, when asking for help, and ask those dressed poorly for that help.
Bad Example: Wearing street clothes and asking a random stranger for help carrying something.
Good Example: Wearing a business suit and asking a random stranger for help carrying something.
Why This Works: When you dress professionally, you give off an authoritative appearance even if you are not the authority. People are more likely to randomly follow directions from someone whom looks like an important member of society because they generally assume they are going to either be remembered for it, accredited somehow for their assistance, or feel better about themselves for contributing. On the other hand if you were to wear street clothes and ask the same person for help, you are most likely going to be told to bugger off. In addition, the color of clothes that you wear plays a psychological effect on the listener as well. For example, there have been many studies done that resulted in people statistically trusting the words of someone dressed in gray over someone dressed in another color. This is why defendants in court often wear gray attire.
4.) Want someone to befriend and respect you? When you first meet them, ask them to do a very small favor for you, and compliment them after they finish. Their perception of you will vastly change immediately.
Why This Works: While there are small examples of this, it works because people in general love doing things for other people, even for something as simple as helping you load the trunk of your car with your baggage. This isn't always the case, however in general it is true. It gives them a sense of purpose. Then, once you compliment them, they feel better about themselves for contributing and helping out their fellow man, and subconsciously remember that feeling once seeing you again.
5.) Want the best possible job security? Become an expert the thing nobody else can figure out, or the thing everybody else hates doing.
Why This Works: This should be self-explanatory, and it absolutely works. You are the least likely to get laid-off if you are the one person conquering that "one thing" that other people either lack understanding of, or hate.
Last edited by Anomaly
on Mon Jul 20, 2015 8:16 pm, edited 6 times in total.
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<22:54:21> "Person_Unknown": Anomaly, you're a great admin and you've got a bitchin' asss