Hard Times Support/ Emotional Support Thread

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Shankin
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Re: Hard Times Support/ Emotional Support Thread

Post by Shankin »

Might as well lock this since some people can't handle a little joke.
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Re: Hard Times Support/ Emotional Support Thread

Post by Dongle »

I'm gonna go ahead and draw the line. If you don't have anything relevant to say, then don't do it. There's too much controversy between people who take it seriously and people who don't, so if you don't have anything relevant to say about the topic (this includes jokes) then don't post anything at all.
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Jasmine
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Re: Hard Times Support/ Emotional Support Thread

Post by Jasmine »

Fine. I'll go first.

A couple of weeks ago a family friend died. It's the first close encounter I had with death and it scared the living crap out of me.
A little over a week ago my brother called me in the middle of the night and said my dads had a stroke.
My dad is my superhero and that also scared me to death. He is literally the most healthy person I know and he got a stroke out of nowhere.
Yesterday I found out that my sisters boyfriend is getting deported.

My family is falling apart. I'm worried about my mom, trying to carry everything.
I worry about my sister who is heartbroken
I worry about my dad who is still in the hospital.

And I'm stuck, in another country and I can't do fuck all about anything and I would literally just disappear if it didnt meant that I put more stress on a already broken family.
Because my anxiety is killing me as is, so I might aswell just make the process short.
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HankHill
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Re: Hard Times Support/ Emotional Support Thread

Post by HankHill »

Personally, Courtney and I are both stressed the fuck (can I even say that on here?) out right now. We got told literally yesterday that we're moving to Orlando. I'm worried about how things are going to play out and if I'd have to move back with my family up in Kentucky, the last thing I'd ever want to happen again.

Maybe I'll post more about other stuff bugging me when I feel more comfortable about them and if the thread gets more traction.

Jasmine, I can't imagine that kind of shit going down for me. You're definitely mentally stronger than I am.
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Re: Hard Times Support/ Emotional Support Thread

Post by fishermatt3552 »

I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that Shankin broke my ankles in a basketball game
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Dr. Ludwig
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Re: Hard Times Support/ Emotional Support Thread

Post by Dr. Ludwig »

I would like to start off by saying I didn't mean to start a flame war by posting this thread. My intentions were honest and the only real intention was to be able to vent about anything that may be going on your life and maybe get advice from others. This isn't intended to be a "safe space" or anything like that. Just a place where you can clear your head.

Don't get me wrong. Humor is a beautiful thing and laughter can be the best medicine at times (I actually chuckled at Person Unknown's post). That being said, this was meant to be a serious thread. I also want to apologize to the admins for this getting as heated as it did. It wasn't my intention. Like Jasmine said, it may not be easy for others to just let it simmer in their mind or tell others in real life that they are close to about it. It can sometimes feel like you're being a burden when you talk to those close to you about it, or you might get the "It will get better. Don't worry so much. Just stop being sad" speech. It may have the best intentions, but it doesn't exactly help at the time.

Jasmine, I want to be the first to say that it was very brave of you to come to this thread and talk about what you were going through. You're stronger than you know for coming here and letting off that steam. I'm sorry that you're going what you're going through. You're doing the best you can for your family right now considering the distance. Sometimes that's all you really can do if you're living far away from your family. Just continue to be there for emotional support for you family. Assure them that you love them and you're doing everything you can to be there for them in these hard times. Your family loves you and they know you will always be there for them no matter what.

On top of the stuff Paul posted, I've also been having some stuff going on with me. I've been having trouble holding down jobs lately. I have no problem getting a job. I have the know how and poise of passing the interviews. Keeping meaningful employment is another story though. In every job I've had except for two of them, I would get bad breakdowns at random points. I still don't understand what's going on. One minute, I'll be fine. The next, I'll start shaking and feeling like I'm being caved in. It gets to a point sometimes where I could be relaxing like I am right now and it will start happening. It feels like a panic attack, but smaller scale (I have family that has anxiety and takes medication for it, and they have similar symptoms). I want to be checked out for potential mental issues that could be affecting my ability to keep a job, but all of my money has been going to maintaining what we've got. I haven't kept a job long enough to utilize health insurance but even then, I would still need a co-pay and I don't know how much it would take. I have had a new job since and haven't had any breakdowns in about a month or so, but I still feel in the back of my mind that it will happen any day now. That it will overtake me when least expected. I want to keep a job for a long time, I want to build up my resume so we can have a brighter future. It' so hard though when you're being held back and you don't know what's holding you back.

Edit: A little spelling here and a little grammar and accidental lowercase letter there. It was typed hastily.
Last edited by Dr. Ludwig on Sat Jun 03, 2017 11:50 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Jim
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Re: Hard Times Support/ Emotional Support Thread

Post by Jim »

Hello anyone who reads,


I don't think anybody will read this but I'd thought I'd talk about some struggles that have been going on in my life. For practically my whole childhood up until this point, I have always had an abusive father. No, not physical abuse but verbal. He is the type of person to talk good to you up front but then shame you behind your back to other people. He has always had an addiction to gambling as well and has caused many financial problems for our whole family. Everyday, he lies about where he goes and what he does. If he says he's at the grocery store, he will be at the casino instead. This has went on for even before my mom married him. Anyway, that isn't the worst part at all. The things he says behind my family's back is beyond despicable. He has blamed my mother several times of cheating on him and calling her horrible things. He also talks about how ungrateful we are and how he is the most selfless man in the family. I also forgot to mention that he took out money from my siblings savings account as well as mine just to get money to gamble when he ran out. So my mother had to make a desperate bank account just to keep all of our money safe so we could have a future. All he does is come home every night and lays on the couch and just watches movies all night. He also has many problems in his health that he doesn't take care of as well. He does this because he wants something to complain about to us and never stops. His manipulation is beyond insane. My dad will always make everyone but himself the bad guy. He is just being useless and offensive until his health issues get the best of him. I have gotten over his verbal abuse already, but my mother still has not. Some days when I'm alone with her, she asks if he talked behind her back again. When I said yes she would start to cry. There is nothing in this world more sad for me than to see my caring mother cry because she gets shunned for doing nothing wrong to my father. He has also gone far enough to actually attack our pet cat for ruining something in the house. I have no idea how to react anymore. I don't want to give him a reaction because he will use it against me. And I hate to see my mother still getting sad over his lying comments. I thought I would just tell my story just to get it off my chest. I just hope things will get better soon.


Best regards, Jim
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Re: Hard Times Support/ Emotional Support Thread

Post by Lanliss »

Do you ever have someone disappear, and you should feel bad, but you don't?

A few months back, my god father died. An old family friend, the man I was named after, and just about one of the best people I knew. He died in his sleep, which everyone always made jokes about. He had sleep apnea, a terrible case of it that he never got checked out. He would just stop breathing out of nowhere, for a minute or two at a time, then start again. We never took it seriously, and played with him about it. Now that he is gone, I feel like I should feel something, but it didn't hurt at all. I didn't even shed a tear at the viewing (is that even what its called?).

Now, skip forward in time. His father just died, the only man I have ever considered to be like a grandfather. One of my own died before I was born, and I have only seen the other something like twice in my whole life. The same thing is happening, I don't feel bad at all. It sucks, I know it is a terrible thing, but I just cannot bring myself to feel anything beyond "Well, that sucks". I don't know what I should feel like, these being the only times anyone I know has died, but I feel like I should at least feel more than I do.

I am not even sure if I honestly need emotional support, or if this is something that should be taken to a psychiatrist. I guess I am just looking to see if anyone else has experience they could offer, on if this is normal at all. I mean, I have cried over a good book, but I can't feel bad for my loved ones?
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Re: Hard Times Support/ Emotional Support Thread

Post by Jasmine »

@lanliss. Sometimes it's a defense mechanism to not feel. It gets unreal and you shrug it off.
All grief and all reactions are natural. Everyone reacts differently. And that's okey.
In some cases grief comes long after, in some cases you don't grief at all.
It doesn't mean you didn't love. Everyone is different and everyone reacts differently.
Don't shame yourself cause you're not sad.

@Jim
Your dad clearly has a problem, there's no need to defend or deny it.
The most important thing to you is to not become partly addicted to helping him.
Family and close friends to an addicted person has a tendency to become addicted with then and keep enabling them. Don't fall in that trap. His actions is wrong and it's not okey, but clearly he has a problem and needs help.
You can't help him, your mother can't help him. He needs professional help and he can only get it if he's willing to get it himself.
If not, for your sanity, your moms sanity and well being the best thing would be to leave him.
It's hard and it sucks. But unfortunately it's the only solution. People will never change for someone else's sale
Last edited by Jasmine on Thu Jul 20, 2017 11:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Hard Times Support/ Emotional Support Thread

Post by hisiglemic »

Theres a lot of shit going on in my life rn. My bestfriend for almost 3 years now who ive had a crush on for those 3 years thinks she likes me but doesnt know. Shes having a hard time figuring it out since she thinks if anything happens between us shell lose me forever. I would never hate her since shes the one that told my parents when I tried to OD on pills. She saved my life but shes afraid ill hate her. I dont know what to do since this stresses her out a lot which really isnt good for a teenager. And all this sucks for me because it comes back to blow up in my face. I have also been very depressed in the past few months but I eventually was able to stop feeling suicidal and stopped trying to kms with pills. All this is hard and I just dont know what to do anymore. I cant play games rn which means my only other ways of forgetting about the pain for a bit are guitar and fishing and since I cant drive and no lakes are near me to go fishing I can barely do that now. What should I do :(
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